This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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