Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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