he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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