I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
