Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
