ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
