Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
