Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize