The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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