are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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