are you so shy because you have an std?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
