garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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