i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
