sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
