you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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