A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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