Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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