I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize