One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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