I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
