Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
