I wish life had little blips of pornography
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
