We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Who put my cat in the fridge?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
