you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I forget how to act sober
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
