S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
