I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
