Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
