i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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