Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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