he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
