The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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