Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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