(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
