so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i out mim tonsoeep
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