With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
