ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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