Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
vagina is talking i cant
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
