If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
