I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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