I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize