Plan B is the new Plan A
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
