I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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