I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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