Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
