i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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