he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Found your dick twin last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
