Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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