that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
