nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your penis caused this!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
