How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
