Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
