Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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