you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
