I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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