Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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