420 ftw
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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