take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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