peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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