I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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