She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize