VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
