Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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