She said her name was "party"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
As shirtless as possible
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
