I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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