I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
